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| Virgina Lake Loop Trail - Reno, NV |
For the run today, I went running at a really nice lake loop trail just down the block from my hotel in Reno. The trail is called the Virginia Lake Loop trail and it is a really nice 1 mile loop with a good hill at one point. I finished the 10 miles in 1:33:24 which is a nice fast pace for my long run at about 9:20 per mile. The park was beautiful and there were a lot of people out enjoying the crisp and clear morning air of Reno.
The run today was more about hitting the reset button that about the time today. Sometimes life pulls you in three or four directions. The conundrum is that you are only one person and can't possible go in all directions at the same time. You have to manage which direction you go and and when you go. That involves making life choices and, as we are all human, we often choose poorly in making those decisions. Then nothing goes well. It's like this: lets say you go on a trip to Washington D.C., for example, and you only have one day there. You want to see the Smithsonian Air & Space museum, The Lincoln Memorial, The Capitol, and the Washington Monument. You only have one day, so realistically you can't go to all four. However, because you really want to see everything and don't want to miss a thing, you try to see everything. You rush through the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, speed through the Capitol spending most of your time processing through the security lines, rush around the Washington Monument, not going inside because you don't have time, and finally speed through the Air & Space museum in about 30 minutes. Hooray! You did everything! But, you didn't really do justice to anything and weren't able to really appreciate anything. Sure, you "saw" everything, but you didn't really appreciate anything. All you really have is a check mark on some list somewhere.
Life is like that. Beyond just trips, you have to look at all the directions you are being pulled and understand that you can't really do it all at the same time. Now, you can do everything, just don't overextend yourself in multiple directions at the same time otherwise you are setting yourself up for failure and misery.
So, I am feeling like my normal self today. The run was a huge help. In my life, my runs are about the only time I am actually doing something just for me. It may sound selfish, but it is OK to be a little selfish from time to time. One of the reasons I weighed 325 pounds in January is because all of my life I always sacrificed my time for others. Mind you, not some altruistic helping others, but because I care what other people think of me and didn't want to offend others. Some times, you have to not care what other people think and take time just for yourself. Those are my runs. That is my time to myself. That is my selfish moment when I don't care what other people think and I can clear all the troubles swimming throughout my mind.
I'm glad I went running today. I really needed it.

You know, Travis, I never really connected with my walks in the way you connect with your runs...until I read your blog today. But you're right: that's exactly what I do on my morning workout walks! I listen to music on my iPOD and let my mind just ruminate all the stuff that's going on and then I sort of...well, I'm just at peace with it all.
ReplyDeleteAnd yep, just like you, my need to help/placate others had a direct effect on me not making time for myself. It was hard at first, but now it's getting easier. I find that I NEED that time for myself if I'm going to be any good for anyone else. :)
Glad you're feeling better!